A Pirate’s Life for Me SI Chapter 3

Morgan suppressed a laugh at Mr. Gibbs’s expression as Jack handed him the skeletal foot. The captain, Jacob, Morgan, and Alyssa clambered on to the deck of The Black Pearl, all of them sopping wet.

Mr. Gibbs took Jack Sparrow aside and cast the three friends a suspicious look. “What’s with the kids?” he asked.

“Oh. So they’re not merely hallucinations stemming from my voracious over-consumption of rum?”

“Ah…nay, sir.”

“Well, then…” Jack wobbled unsteadily a placed a ponderous hand on his three-cornered hat. “Um, they’re stowaways. Crew!” He turned to his crew of around a dozen. “Have your way with the girls. The boy will be my new cabin boy. There!” He looked at Mr. Gibbs and smiled satisfactorily.

Morgan couldn’t see the rest of the exchange between Jack and Mr. Gibbs. Suddenly, there were old men all around her, clamoring, reaching, tearing at her soggy clothes, ripping holes in her jeans…She looked over at Alyssa and saw that her friend was trying fruitlessly to fight off the same thing. “No!” Morgan screamed. “Stop it! Stop!” She kicked and struggled, but the men had already ripped off her shirt. She was in only a bra. “JACK SPARROWWWWW!” she bellowed.

“Stop, men!” Jack ordered. Reluctantly, the men drew back. Morgan glanced at Alyssa and saw that she was in only a bra, too. And both girls’ bras were wet. Morgan didn’t even have to look in Jacob’s direction to know he was staring.

Jack gave both girls once-overs, smiled, and said mockingly, “What is it, lass?”

“We can help you,” Morgan replied.

“How?”

“We can…tell the future,” she lied.

Jack gave her a confused look. “Can you, now?”

“We know the deal you made with Davy Jones.”

“You time is almost up,” Alyssa added.

Jack froze. The three saw for the first time true terror in his eyes. Then he remembered that his crew was watching and smiled widely. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, mates,” he told them, but his voice quivered.

Morgan and Alyssa snorted and looked away.

Jack reached into his coat and brought out a soaked piece of rolled-up, browned paper. “If you can tell the future,” he said, “you’ll know what this is before I open it.”

“The key,” said Alyssa.

“To the Dead Man’s Chest,” Morgan added. “Oh…and watch out for the monkey.”

“What?”

Jack the Undead Monkey swung up and snatched the scroll from Jack Sparrow’s hands, not to the surprise of the three friends. Acting out of anger, Jack drew his gun and shot the monkey, who screeched in surprise, dropped the scroll, and swung upwards towards the mast.

“You know that don’t do no good,” Gibbs admonished.

“It does me!” said Jack.

An extremely short crewmember ran over, picked up the scroll, and unfurled it. His eyes widened. “It really is a key!” he gasped.

“No, no! Even more better!” Jack took the scroll from the short man. “It is a drawing of a key!”

Morgan glanced at Alyssa and Jacob. “You guys know what happens next,” she said, “right?”

Alyssa nodded, but Jacob stared at her blankly. “I don’t,” he informed them, “because I’ve never seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.”

“WHAT?!” Morgan exploded. “How do you survive? You’ve seen Aquamarine, but you’ve never seen Pirates of the Caribbean? Jesus, I’m manlier than you!”

“Yeah, Jacob, how does that work?” Alyssa asked suspiciously.

“Hey! It’s my little cousin’s fault, okay? She makes me see all these girly movies!” Jacob frowned, defensive.

“Uh huh. Right.”

Morgan saw Jacob’s eyes stray to their see-through bras, and she turned her back to him. “So,” Alyssa said over her shoulder, “now what?”

“Bootstrap,” Morgan replied.

Jacob cocked his head. “Who?”

“Bootstrap Bill Turner. He’s freaky.” Morgan stared at her feet and snarled. “And he kills Norrington…”

“Wait, who’s Norrington, again?”

Morgan shuddered and hunched her shoulders. “He’s never seen Pirates of the Caribbean,” she whispered. Then she turned around with her arms crossed over her bra. “Hey, Sparrow!” she shouted. “You got any clothes for us?”

“No dresses!” Jack replied in a singsong voice.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Okay, well, do you have any clothes at all? Spare cabin boy outfits? C’mon! You gotta have something!”

“Fine,” said Jack irritably, “if you want man’s clothes.”

“Sure, whatever. Oh, and my friend Alyssa here would like you to dress her for her.” She jerked her head towards Alyssa, who was glaring at her with a deep blush marring her tan cheeks.

“Javert!” she hissed.

“Johnny Depp.”

“Norrington.”

“Johnny Depp.”

“Hugh Laurie.”

“Johnny Depp!”

“EMILY OSMOND!” Jacob screamed.